Head'em Up. Move'em Out
Clint Lewis, CI Editor
Dear Community Member:
On August 15, 2001, our membership services will be moving to ???.com. [Thank
god and good riddance - we spent all our venture money giving away free stuff,
now at least we can sell our membership list for some cash.]
To keep this strong community base together, we have signed a strategic
alliance with ???.com. Under this agreement, you will have the opportunity to
sign up for ???.com's award winning service that makes creating your own Web
site as easy as using your mouse - just drag and drop. Whether you want to
share photos with your friends and family, chat, promote your business, or
organize your club, ??? gives you everything you need to build a great-looking
site. [Stategic alliance - right - like, how much will ???.com give us for
our ever-shrinking membership? They do all the stuff we did, but since they
charge for services, at least they are still players and can throw us a bone.
Hmm, wonder how we'll convince our members to pay for stuff?]
Join over 10 million ???.com members who have discovered that Web sites are a
better way to communicate. [I wonder if they'll buy that! Oh well, never
underestimate the power of an individual's ego.]
You are able to evaluate ???.com's services and tools for a 30-day free trial
period. [OK. I guess we can slide the money part in here now that we've made
our powerful marketing case.]
Take advantage of ???.com's FREE 30-DAY TRIAL NOW! [Oh yeah, don't forget to
ask for the sale like the marketing books tell you.]
We appreciate the contributions you've made to our community, and we encourage
you to continue your community participation at ???.com [If only they had been
$$$ contributions we wouldn't have to do this damit! But at least we get to
keep the house and the BMW no matter what. To bad about all that venture money.
We wonder, though, what our programmers will do? Because there sure ain't no
cash in the kitty left for them! Speaking of money, let's intro the offer like
we agree'd with ???.com...]
Coming Soon!! On July 16, 2001 we will also be offering a One-Year Charter
Membership for $29.99, which is only $2.50 per month! Plus, as a further reward
for your loyal support, you can choose either an extra 25 MB of storage or an
additional $10 off your first year. We are only making this generous offer to
current members, and it will only be available for the next few weeks. And as a
token of our appreciation, select one or more of these products for free. Pay
only shipping & handling. [So this is how it works - how you prime the
cash pump! Sure wish someone had told us earlier.]
It seemed so easy when the web was taking off. Heck, eBay was started as a fun
to build site for someone's PEZ loving girlfriend. Dice made its creators
filthy rich - and such a simple site. But most of the web-generated ponzi money
went to those selling the pots and pans of the internet.